the honest truth

from google

text message conversations this morning or relief from soul sucking employment

jammin: how are you now?
killer: still bored. thinking bout all the better things i could be doing.
jammin: like us on a date.
killer: exactly! or saving the rainforest.

meshell: i never got it why old ladies like to hang shrubbery from their heads ?!
killer: why do they put the exclamation point and the question mark so far away from each other on the key board?
meshell: it's to show my crazy confusion for this observation.

what else are we going to eat?

this upcoming weekend had better step up and prove that it is the awesomeness i expect it to be. jammin and i are planning a roadtrip picnic. since north with it's malibu and cokes was the destination last week, we're heading south for it's gourmet treats.

what could be better than a jelly-belly picnic?

god bless jellystone

i was reminded this weekend that there are few things in the world more fun than drunking golf cart cruising.

bye david...

i've decided to declare today a national holiday devoted soley to thinking about how much less fun life in the usa is going to be without david. who's going to show off their cool hack tricks? who's going to brag about a pool in the summer? who's going to train me for this year's summer goal?

fuckin aussies. you win this time. but it's not over.

channeling the offspring

why is it you only pick up bad habits? i mean, i've never found myself accidently flossing.

my latest bad habits? not wearing sunblock and this entertaining and delightful game.

switch?

can you imagine seeing will smith throw the horns while listening to his wife sing her little heart on the second stage at ozzfest? neither can i but apparently it happened.

let me see your tootsie roll

one of the worst (read: funny/gross) pranks i'd ever heard of, was one my old supervisor, big gay j, pulled on his brother. and it wasn't so much a prank as a horrible form of revenge.

his little brother had snitched on him to their mother about smoking or something. j let enough time pass to earn his brothers trust before he made his move. he then put cat poo in a tootsie roll wrapper and gave it to his brother.

sorta makes one wish to be an only child.