fuck sunshine

today is the kind of day where a car accident almost seems like a good idea.

i just licked my phone

do you know how to juggle?

you don't?

oh that's a shame, cause i totally do. you non-juggling fool.

wear your seatbelt

he: you'd better find somewhere to put it. soon.
she: like where?
he: i don't know, look around.
she: um, yeah...i got nothin'.
he: oh jeeze, this is so high school. i have a sock in my bag. make sure it's clean.
she: alright, now what?
he: what do you mean?
she: i was never a boy, i don't know how this works.
he: it's not that hard, you just...sort of...catch it.
she: catch it?
he: yeah. wait, we just passed a cop.
she: is he turning around?
he: yeah
she: pull your pants up.